An exchange of crucial messages between important men.

Dear G-dude,

   I 'm sorry that I've left you hanging in the VR several times now for a couple different reasons. Sadly, I'll probably do it again soon too. See its like this: Sometimes things come up and I gotta handle it right then. I work from home so I'm always at my job. See? But if you look at it another way-- I can only make time to hang out because I can squeeze it in when I get a lull. So some time is better than none right? 
One thing you don't have to worry about is me ignoring you because I don't want to admit something--like not wanting to play. I can easily just tell you what I think. I'm all about the here and now. And I'm not shy about anything at all really. Worry about me epic-failing firmware updates, having awful gas, or scoring super tiny points. But I think it's obvious that our murals are their own reward. Look at the pictures. The Dragon's turning out great right? and the Transformers? And even Pat Versus Any Animal? All awesome.
So don't get it into your knobby head that you're getting ditched. Its exactly the opposite of ditching you actually. And what kind of thanks do I get for being so eminently rad? Hmmm... Lets see... Death by friendly fire, weapon stealing, bowling-blockade smackdowns, getting framed for endless dick graffiti--Oh!--and don't forget the latest torment --"Wiping" objects on my face while taking pictures of me. Some thanks. Soon enough I'll have my revenge. 
Why wait you ask? Lucky for you, you make up for ALL YOUR TREACHERY teaching me some tips and tricks I hadn't known before. That's enough for now. But next time I get busy mid game, when I pop back in, I want to see that you've made some progress on your artwork while I was out. You got time to lean, you got time to clean, young fella. And learning how to paint will make you cooler in real life. Not that you aren't cool. But cool is like money. You can always use more. And if you work hard and apply yourself? One day--with luck-- you might overflow with righteous awesomeness just like your good ol Uncle Cliff... Actually that will probably take you years,(and years, and years, and years) before you get as cool as I am now.... If even then... But why not set your sights as high as you possible?
However... You won't be alone. I'll probably spend those same years struggling to out score my shameful 175 in that damn blasted laser-tag adventure thing with friendly fire.... (If I even can...)... (sigh)

So anyway nephew-- Allow me to close here with this brief synopsis of my earthly wisdom--Follow All these rules for best results: 
1... More paint, less complaint. 2... Give Uncle Cliff any crossbow, flintlock, blunderbuss, gren that you find BEFORE you shoot him with it.  3....And, hmmmm... three... three?... --Never mind three-- just do the first two and you'll be fine.
Sincerely,

Cliffton Chandler

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Dear Sir,

I’m completely fine with you not being able to play with me at some points. If anything, it teaches me to respect the fact that most people do have lives, and not tons of free time (like me). And you’re definitely right about some time being better than none, because I’d rather play with you every other day rather than none. I’m starting to appreciate the time I spend with you more because lately, Sebastian has been giving me wayyy more trouble than before, like stealing my iPad, computer, and VR headset, and rather than him verbally teasing me, he’s been getting a bit more physical. 

  Thanks for telling me about the whole you’re not ditching me but doing the opposite ordeal, because if there’s one thing about you that stands out from any other adult, it’s that you always tell the truth. After certain, shall we say... experiments? Yes, let’s go with that. After certain experiments, I know that you are always truthful about a subject, even if you know it will hurt them in some way. And if you don’t want to tell somebody something, you always tell them that verbatim (Auntie Jessica taught me that word), which is very admirable.

Also, let me give you VERY VALID reasons on why I do what I do to you. Friendly fire, FRIENDLY FIRE! It’s in the name! I kill you on a friendly way! (I can see by your face that you’re not convinced). Ok, weapon stealing. First of all, you started it. Second of all, it’s weapon BORROWING! Every time I steal a blunderbuss from you, I always give it back when I’m done, it’s just worn out and can’t be used any more. Bowling blockade smack downs, bowling needs to have more obstacles! I simply improved the game, by catching the bowling balls and using them as dodgeballs, I made that game more fun! (And illegal in 39 states) Framing you for drawing very erect looking volcanoes, I knew you were gonna do it at some point, so framing you would have you punished before you did the crime! See! Perfect parenting guide! Wiping objects on your face and then taking pictures,     you did it too, so I see us as even there. So in all reality, you owe ME! That’s right! I pulled a sneaky on ya! (G-Dude is not responsible for paying for any objects you break in rage)

  I’ll make sure that by the time we play again, you’ll be seeing be spraying more paint, and saying less complaints. I’ll also make sure that when I find a ranged weapon, I give it to you first, then I wait for you to die, I pick up your ranger weapon, revive you, and THEN I shoot you with it! I’m still following everything you said technically, just not literally. 

Also, when will we play again tomorrow? Tell me a time and I’ll be ready.
Sincerely, Gabriel J,